BY AKINGBULE PRECIOUS

Director, Event and Planning Directorate, Kingdom Leads Africa;

Fellow, MCN.

 

 

INTRODUCTION

A leader is one who guides and influences others to achieve a common goal or a shared vision. The capacity to build and sustain relationships is essential to achieving these objectives since interactions are how one learns exerts influence over the true potential of people

 

“Building relationships is about more than understanding other; its making people feel understood”-Tanveer Naseer

 

Dan Reiland likes to ask leaders he is coaching a simple question; “Do the people you work with like you?” 

 

It is generally easier to work with and work through difficult situations with people who like you or have a good relationship with you

 

RELATIONSHIP ESSENTIALS

 

SHOW RESPECT 

 

•1 peter 2:17 “respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. Fear God and respect the king.”

 

•Respect is defined as providing due attention for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.

 

•This is made simple by first viewing them as God's creation, which makes it simpler to honor God in them and, by extension, honor and respect them..

 

SHOW GRATITUDE 

 

•Acknowledge good work and express your gratitude.  It is preferable to do this before fixing incorrectly completed tasks.

 

•This strengthens the sense of worth of those who work with you and demonstrates respect for them.

 

ENCOURAGE 

 

•1 thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

 

•Encourage them sincerely. Make them aware of their strengths and areas for improvement. Do these frequently

 

GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

 

•Prov 18:5 “It is not wise to acquit the guilty or deny justice to the innocent.”

 

•Don’t jump to conclusions when you hear bad reports about those who work for you. Learn to listen to all sides of the story.

 

•Assume the best of them … it shows

 

LOOK FOR THE BEST IN THEM 

 

•It is your responsibility as a leader to help people reach their full potential. Those who exhibit aptitude for a task should be encouraged to do more of it and  improve their skills.

 

•And, when dealing with difficult people,  it is sometimes necessary to try to understand things from their point of view.

 

BE KIND

 

•This foster’s trust

 

•Genuine concern for the well-being of those who work with you helps to create an environment  of trust, joy, and belonging. This enables those who work with you to work efficiently and without undue stress

 

•Show empathy and compassion

 

BE A GOOD LISTENER AND A GREAT COMMUNICATOR

 

•James 1:19 “… be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”

 

•Proverbs 18:13 “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.”

 

•Listening is a critical aspect of communication.

 

•When listening, pay close attention.

 

•Listen for understanding, not just to prepare a response.

 

•To ensure that you understand, request clarifications, elaborations, and inquiries. This demonstrates worth, respect, and affection.

 

.Be intentional in your words,  

 

•Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

 

•Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”

 

•Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

 

•Don’t be a hypocrite

 

•Practice what you preach

 

•All forms of communication should complement one another

 

•Spoken, written and non-verbal communications should all be in sync

 

•Inconsistent messages breed cynicism and demotivation

 

•Make your meetings a safe space for new ideas, free of stifling criticism and unnecessary interruptions.

 

•You can also improve communication within your team by holding non-work-related meetings to foster relationships

 

BE GENEROUS

 

•This is often financial, but can include giving your time, words of affirmation, ideas and helping to solve problems

 

OWN YOUR MISTAKES

 

•Most people find this difficult, but it is critical to accept responsibility for your mistakes.

 

•People do not disregard you because of errors... except when incorrectly handled

 

•Passing the blame for your error to someone else actually makes you less respectable.

 

.As a leader, you must accept responsibility for your mistakes and work to correct them.

 

•It also enables those who work with you to recognize that you are human and, more importantly, to learn from you how to handle mistakes.

 

GIVE HONEST FEEDBACK

 

•When work is done, give feedbacks

 

•This helps people know what they’re doing well and what they need to work on

 

•Feedbacks go both ways, good and bad, when giving bad feedbacks (criticism) be careful to pass the message across without being unnecessarily harsh.

 

•Good results should be praised without holding back, it boosts moral and increases performance

 

•And in most cases they come hand in hand. When a project is submitted there are usually things that are exceptional and things that are below expectations

 

•Good results should be praised without holding back, it boosts moral and increases performance

 

•And in most cases they come hand in hand. When a project is submitted there are usually things that are exceptional and things that are below expectations

 

•Do well to praise what as done right and highlight things that need to be worked on

 

LOOK THROUGH THEIR MIRROR

 

•It is important to intentionally take a step back and see things through the perspective of others

 

•Consider their reality and challenges

 

•Sincerely listen and act on their complaints

 

BE A LEADER

•Psalms 78:72 “so he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, And guided them with his skillful hands.”

 

•As a leader, your role is to lead

 

•You must inspire trust and confidence, provide vision and objectives.

 

•And although you need to build great relationships, your job is not to be everyone’s bestie

 

•Be respectful and gracious, let your words be clear and compassionate, listen to ideas but don’t lose sight of the vision.

 

•And although you need to be kind and generous; be firm on your principles

 

•Titus 1: 7-9 “Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless – not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.”

 

•Carefully lay down rules and regulations but also ensure you enforce it – be fair.

 

•Be a leader, in giving both praise and rebuke remain respectful, gracious and compassionate. 

 

REFERENCES

 

•1.Dan Reiland; 10 essential ways leaders build relationship with their team members; Outreach magazine; may 10, 2021

 

•2.Divya Balaji; the role of relationship management in leadership; the #IlliniLeader’s Digest;

 

•3.Susan Ritchie; 7 ways to build great relationships with your team; Be Leaderly;

 

•4.Tanveer Naseer; 3 keys for building relationships with those you lead; Tanveer Naseer Leadership

 

•5.Jerry R. Strom; How Leaders Build Relationships at Work